Tuesday morning I looked at the clock when I got up, knowing the day ahead would be busy. I felt a little panicked. It had been a long weekend with the children home and my house displayed it. I started in the kitchen. I emptied the clean dishes from the dishwasher and put them away. The counters had raspberry jam and bread crumbs, a small puddle of spilled milk and a coloring book with crayons scattered around.
The bedroom had an unmade bed, half the covers on the floor, the rest full of lumps and wrinkles. On the floor were dirty socks, a pair of jeans, a sweater and papers left over from homework from the week before. In the corner I saw a stacked pile of folded clothes slightly toppled. Clothes I had washed dried and place on the dresser of my daughter's room for her to put away.
I sighed. The bathroom didn't look much better. Wet towels dangling precariously from a hook, smeared toothpaste on the counter and sink, an empty toilet paper roll and more dirty socks. The mirror was smeared with handprints.
My son's rooms were even worse. In one you could barely see the floor, in another piles were everywhere. Books, papers, clothes clean and dirty, broken pencils, empty wrappers and an assortment of miss-matched legos.
It was the beginning of a new week, how could my house already be in such disarray? Saturday had barely passed, the day when our family was supposed to do major cleaning, which everyone had assured me they had.
The laundry basket was overflowing, bills needed to be paid, and garbage cans emptied and taken outside. I went in to my closet to find a sweater and looked around it with dismay, even it needed cleaning. It was 10 a.m. in the morning and I already felt tired and discouraged, my physical energy drained from worrying, how could I possibly get everything done.
I knew I needed to just pick a room and start. None of them were extensively dirty, just cluttered and a bit disorganized, but it frustrated me. Why did I always have to be the one to keep my house in order when everyone else kept messing it up?
The phone rang, somebody needed me for something. I glanced around the house again inwardly shuddering, telling myself I wasn't making the grade. I had twenty-four hours in my day like everyone else, why did it never seem enough? Everyday there was something I didn't get done that I wanted, too. It was frustrating.
That afternoon I spent an hour playing with my grandson. Part of the time we blew bubbles. Iridescent balls of different sizes, floating in the air lit my grandson's face with excitement and wonder. His laughter echoed around my troubled heart.
He wasn't worried about whether or not I'd vacuumed the living room floor or scrubbed away the ring around the tub. It didn't matter to him there were shoes in an annoying pile by the front door or crumbs under my kitchen table. His face lit with joy when I blew on a small wand from a bottle, a bottle that cost less than a dollar from the store.
My worries faded away. For a few minutes time seemed to stop. All that mattered was the smile on a little boy's face and his giggling laughter that warmed my heart. Why do we tell ourselves we don't have time for the little things in life? How do we not?
January 21, 2009
January 7, 2009
It Can Reach in and Snatch a Kid Out of any House Today
We can’t not be diligent in teaching our children about the dangers of pornography,or helping those who are caught in its grasp, break free. Its contribution to broken homes and violent crimes is too close, and too real.
http://www.getnetwise.org/ Keeping Children Safe Online
http://www.no-porn.com Keys to Recovery
Excerpts from Fatal Addiction - Ted Bundy's Final Interview—
Bundy, a good-looking, intelligent law student, learned to lure women into his car by various forms of deception. By the time he was apprehended, Bundy had killed at least twenty-eight young women and girls in acts too horrible to contemplate. He was finally convicted and sentenced to death
A road that leads to nowhere
When Ted Bundy was thirteen years old, he discovered “dirty magazines” in a dump near his home. He was instantly captivated by them. In time, Bundy became more and more addicted to violent images in magazines and videos. He got his kicks from seeing women being tortured and murdered. When he tired of that, there was only one place his addiction could go - from fantasy to reality.
…I grew up in a wonderful home with two dedicated and loving parents, as one of 5 brothers and sisters. We, as children, were the focus of my parent’s lives. We regularly attended church. My parents did not drink or smoke or gamble. There was no physical abuse or fighting in the home. I’m not saying it was “Leave it to Beaver”, but it was a fine, solid Christian home.
As a young boy of 12 or 13, I encountered, outside the home, in the local grocery and drug stores, softcore pornography. Young boys explore the sideways and byways of their neighborhoods, and in our neighborhood, people would dump the garbage. From time to time, we would come across books of a harder nature - more graphic. This also included detective magazines, etc., and I want to emphasize this. The most damaging kind of pornography - is that that involves violence and sexual violence. The wedding of those two forces - as I know only too well - brings about behavior that is too terrible to describe.
I’m not blaming pornography. I’m not saying it caused me to go out and do certain things. I take full responsibility for all the things that I’ve done. That’s not the question here. The issue is how this kind of literature contributed and helped mold and shape the kinds of violent behavior.
I wasn’t some guy hanging out in bars, or a bum. I wasn’t a pervert in the sense that people look at somebody and say, “I know there’s something wrong with him.” I was a normal person. I had good friends. I led a normal life, except for this one, small but very potent and destructive segment that I kept very secret and close to myself. Those of us who have been so influenced by violence in the media, particularly pornographic violence, are not some kind of inherent monsters. We are your sons and husbands. We grew up in regular families. Pornography can reach in and snatch a kid out of any house today. It snatched me out of my home 20 or 30 years ago. As diligent as my parents were, and they were diligent in protecting their children, and as good a Christian home as we had, there is no protection against the kinds of influences that are loose in a society that tolerates....
I’ve lived in prison for a long time now, and I’ve met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence. Without exception, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography - deeply consumed by the addiction.
To read the complete interview go to: http://www.pureintimacy.org/gr/intimacy/understanding/a0000082.cfm
http://www.getnetwise.org/ Keeping Children Safe Online
http://www.no-porn.com Keys to Recovery
Excerpts from Fatal Addiction - Ted Bundy's Final Interview—
Bundy, a good-looking, intelligent law student, learned to lure women into his car by various forms of deception. By the time he was apprehended, Bundy had killed at least twenty-eight young women and girls in acts too horrible to contemplate. He was finally convicted and sentenced to death
A road that leads to nowhere
When Ted Bundy was thirteen years old, he discovered “dirty magazines” in a dump near his home. He was instantly captivated by them. In time, Bundy became more and more addicted to violent images in magazines and videos. He got his kicks from seeing women being tortured and murdered. When he tired of that, there was only one place his addiction could go - from fantasy to reality.
…I grew up in a wonderful home with two dedicated and loving parents, as one of 5 brothers and sisters. We, as children, were the focus of my parent’s lives. We regularly attended church. My parents did not drink or smoke or gamble. There was no physical abuse or fighting in the home. I’m not saying it was “Leave it to Beaver”, but it was a fine, solid Christian home.
As a young boy of 12 or 13, I encountered, outside the home, in the local grocery and drug stores, softcore pornography. Young boys explore the sideways and byways of their neighborhoods, and in our neighborhood, people would dump the garbage. From time to time, we would come across books of a harder nature - more graphic. This also included detective magazines, etc., and I want to emphasize this. The most damaging kind of pornography - is that that involves violence and sexual violence. The wedding of those two forces - as I know only too well - brings about behavior that is too terrible to describe.
I’m not blaming pornography. I’m not saying it caused me to go out and do certain things. I take full responsibility for all the things that I’ve done. That’s not the question here. The issue is how this kind of literature contributed and helped mold and shape the kinds of violent behavior.
I wasn’t some guy hanging out in bars, or a bum. I wasn’t a pervert in the sense that people look at somebody and say, “I know there’s something wrong with him.” I was a normal person. I had good friends. I led a normal life, except for this one, small but very potent and destructive segment that I kept very secret and close to myself. Those of us who have been so influenced by violence in the media, particularly pornographic violence, are not some kind of inherent monsters. We are your sons and husbands. We grew up in regular families. Pornography can reach in and snatch a kid out of any house today. It snatched me out of my home 20 or 30 years ago. As diligent as my parents were, and they were diligent in protecting their children, and as good a Christian home as we had, there is no protection against the kinds of influences that are loose in a society that tolerates....
I’ve lived in prison for a long time now, and I’ve met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence. Without exception, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography - deeply consumed by the addiction.
To read the complete interview go to: http://www.pureintimacy.org/gr/intimacy/understanding/a0000082.cfm
January 1, 2009
How do we know?
I saw her across the crowded grocery store. She looked perfect. Each hair on her head smoothly in place, expertly applied make-up, beautifully manicured nails, clothes freshly ironed. I glanced in her cart as I came closer, grabbing a plastic bag to fill with tomatoes. Even her cart was organized. Three boxes of whole grain cereal, several kinds of fruit, frozen corn and peas, and two cans of frozen orange juice concentrate neatly arranged. She reached for a bag of mixed green salad and I noticed the large sparkling diamond on her left hand. How was I to know, inside, she was falling completely apart?
Are we really seeing those around us? Those in ordinary situations we meet everyday? How do we know who needs a warm smile, a hello, a few words of friendly conversation? Do we think it couldn't be the ones crossing our path looking as if they have it all together. Is it really just the ones whose countenance is more obviously down or looking needy in some way?
January first, the beginning of a brand new year. We're faced with a declining economy, increasing loss of homes and jobs, an unfinished war, and the leading baton of our government is passing hands. In some ways the future seems more uncertain in many of our lifetimes than ever before. Money may be tight, and worries heavy--but kindness, what is most important--is still free.
The very nature of kindness
Is to spread.
If you are kind to others,
today they will be kind to you,
and tomorrow to somebody else.
- Sri Chinmoy
Are we really seeing those around us? Those in ordinary situations we meet everyday? How do we know who needs a warm smile, a hello, a few words of friendly conversation? Do we think it couldn't be the ones crossing our path looking as if they have it all together. Is it really just the ones whose countenance is more obviously down or looking needy in some way?
January first, the beginning of a brand new year. We're faced with a declining economy, increasing loss of homes and jobs, an unfinished war, and the leading baton of our government is passing hands. In some ways the future seems more uncertain in many of our lifetimes than ever before. Money may be tight, and worries heavy--but kindness, what is most important--is still free.
The very nature of kindness
Is to spread.
If you are kind to others,
today they will be kind to you,
and tomorrow to somebody else.
- Sri Chinmoy
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