When a person makes mistakes it can sometimes feel easier to cover the truth with excuses, deviations, or flat-out denial. Sometimes this gives a false sense of security and rational, temporarily allowing an avoidance of consequences. In the long run, this can cause a deeper impact or harm than the original act. Truth can be painful and difficult to bear on many levels, especially when the fear of discovery and harsh judgement or rejection from others looms largely overhead. That can seem impossible to face.
Many times in my first marriage I pled with my husband to tell me the truth. However horrible it was, I was certain I could deal with it much better than the lies. He couldn't find the courage to do that. When I finally did find out the truth about his pornography addiction, the catalyst it was in his repeated infidelity, it was too late to save our marriage.
How many times have we told our children, "You'll be in less trouble if you tell the truth?" Why do we say that to them? I know for me despite how upset I am when my children have done something wrong, if they tell the truth a portion of that frustration immediately dissipates like air leaking through a pin hole in a balloon.
It takes courage and faith to face the truth that someone we love is struggling with pornography, especially if it is our spouse. I know how horrible that sense of betrayal feels--but wouldn't it be easier to deal with if he was completely honest? Have you told him? Can you look past your pain and help foster an environment where he is less afraid to open up?
John 8:32 KJV And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free