Who around us needs lifting up?

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This was in my inbox yesterday and I wanted to share.

The 5 Best Things to Say to a Friend Today-Lysa TerKeurst

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." Romans 12:12-13 (NIV)

I remember sitting in the smelly middle school gym like it was yesterday.

I'd survived the awkward and much-dreaded moments of changing into my PE uniform in the girls' locker room. And now I sat on the hard bleachers listening to the squeak of tennis shoes, the uneven cadence of bouncing balls, the teacher's sharp whistle and the girls laughing behind me.

They weren't laughing with me. That would have meant I was accepted, wanted and invited in to be a part of their group.

No, they were laughing at me.

I was the subject of their gossip. I was the punch line of their jokes.

And it hurt.

I imagine you know that hurt too. Change the scenery and people, and this same hurt can be found in most of our lives.

• When your co-workers all make plans to go to lunch, but you weren't invited.
• When that other preschool mom says, "Several of us moms are concerned with how aggressive your child seems on the playground."
• When everyone else's social media makes marriage look dreamy and uber-romantic as you're crying yourself to sleep.

Then a friend steps in with a gentle smile and a few simple words of encouragement and suddenly you're not alone.

I want to be that friend for you today.

In the midst of whatever it is that's made your heart feel knocked off-kilter, can I whisper what I believe are the 5 best things one can say to a friend? And then might you give the gift of saying these things to a friend today?

This list is from our key verses, Romans 12:12-13, in a section titled "Love."

1. "You're wonderful."

(Romans 12:12, "Be joyful in hope ...")

What a loving thing to infuse joyful hope into your friend's life by reminding her why you think she is wonderful.

The world is quick to tell us girls all the ways we fall short. We are hyperaware of our faults and frailties.

So, what a precious gift to remind a friend of specific ways she's a wonderful friend, a wonderful mom, a wonderful Jesus girl, a wonderful wife, a wonderful co-worker, a wonderful person.

2. "Me too."

(Romans 12:12, "... patient in affliction ...")

What a gift to remind a friend we all have afflictions, hurts, faults and tender places. We all get sick both emotionally and physically.

The patient friend freely gives grace because she so desperately needs it herself. "Me too" acknowledges that I'm no better than you, but together we can get stronger. It is such a loving and disarming admission that we're all in this together.

3. "I'll pray."

(Romans 12:12, "... faithful in prayer.")

Wouldn't it be wonderful to tell a friend you will absolutely be faithful in your prayers for her? I have someone who prays for me faithfully and even texts me Scriptures she's praying.

But here's what I really love about her. She doesn't just pray about my situations. She prays me through them. I honestly don't know how she hasn't gotten tired of praying for some of my same issues for so long. I get so tired of me ... but she never does. What a gift. A gift I know I must pass on by being faithful in my prayers for others.

4. "I'll share."

(Romans 12:13, "Share with the Lord's people who are in need ...")

When we notice a need in a friend's life, might we be willing to step in and be part of the solution?

I have a friend who lost every possession she owned due to a chemical spill in her home. So, we threw her a "Job (like the man in the Bible) Party." Each of us brought a few things to help her family start over.

We didn't come close to fully meeting their financial needs. But we helped build a foundation of restoration and gave this family the assurance that God was working on their behalf.

5. "Come over."

(Romans 12:13, "Practice hospitality.")

Welcoming a friend inside the sacred space of our home is such a needed gesture. There's just something about relationships that are less pixilated when we get eye-to-eye, voice-to-voice and talk. Really talk.

Over broken bread we share broken hearts. And then we celebrate the parts of us that are still intact. We reach across the table and across our differences to grab hold of the glorious bond of friendship.

Yes, these are 5 great things, maybe even the best things, to say to a friend. So, today, I pause and say them to you.

When life falls apart...

I have a friend whose life used to be like a treasured love letter. Each day she'd open up the well creased paper and live out the gentle familiarity with great joy.

Her life read of love, purpose, tradition, stability, respect, and faith. Day by day, layer upon layer her legacy decorated the edges of her love letter with strokes of consistent beauty.

Then one shocking day, she awoke to find that someone she trusted very much had knowingly and willfully torn her love letter in half. Shocked and hurt she asked this someone to tape it back together.

Though the letter would never quite look the same, eventually a heart of forgiveness and eyes of grace allowed her to see the letter as lovely once more.

Her little letter had been through a lot, but, strangely enough, didn't seem as fragile as it had years before. The paper felt more stable then it had ever felt. And she found that good could even come from the rips and tears of life.

Healing days turned into healing years and soon the paper's scar faded so much you could hardly tell it had been torn.

There was joy. But then sorrow returned.

One morning she awoke to find her letter missing. Frantic and desperate she threw open her front door gasping for air. And there, to her great horror, she saw bits and pieces of her letter swirling and being carried away in the wind. Her letter, her life, everything precious and seemingly protected, was never to be the same again.

This time it wasn't just tattered and torn. It was shredded beyond repair.

She collapsed in a heap of tears. Grief like she'd never known overtook her. She went to bed and thought she'd stay there forever.

The days were suddenly dark. The nights were way too long. The hours seemed to creep along in torturous spans. Each minute so painful she wondered how much longer her heart could continue its beat by beat rhythm.

Then one day she willed herself out of bed. Maybe it was the longing for her letter of old. Maybe it was wishful thinking. Maybe it was the purest form of raw hope. She walked outside among the pieces and parts of her life's letter.

Ragged edges on each torn piece spoke loudly of the state of the circumstances she couldn't escape. But looking closely, she discovered something wondrous. Though the torn apart letter couldn't be read in sentences and paragraphs, the individual words were still clear.

Piece by piece she picked up the fragments of paper and read them one word at a time. So many of the words were glorious. Absolutely glorious. Her life was still there.

And though the letter would never be read exactly the same as it had, for the first time in a long while she saw beauty. Gathering the pieces together, she starting lining them up in rows. Old words- new sentences.

The letter of her life took on a new meaning. All the truth that seemed to be shredded with the old letter, was still there.

Truth still meant truthful. Full of truth.

Grace still meant graceful. Full of grace.

Joy still meant joyful. Full of joy.

And beauty still meant beautiful. Full of beauty.

Which is exactly what God kept whispering to her but she couldn't seem to understand how anything so broken could ever be made whole again.

Sometimes whole doesn't mean put back together the exact right way. For if someone discovers fullness within each broken piece, each part takes on a wholeness of its own.

So, for the first time in a long while she smiled. And while she never thought she could be happy with a letter read in pieces one word at a time, she found the fullness in each word and rediscovered her life.

She closed every door to her old life, picked up her pieces, and in complete fullness walked on.

--Lysa Terkeurst