I went to the library with my seven-year-old daughter yesterday after school was out and checked out a book called "How to Remodel Your Man". I started reading it last night while my husband and boys were watching the latest Indiana Jones movie in the same room. I couldn't stop laughing. They weren't too impressed and kept adjusting the volume louder on the TV.
I haven't laughed that hard for a long time--it was wonderful. The worries and issues that had been weighing on my mind were pushed to the background. I felt re-newed, energized, and just plain happy. My concerns hadn't changed even the smallest fraction, however just by having a good laugh and time to relax I was gaining new insight on how to face them. How easy it is to forget to enjoy some of the simple pleasures in life. I was glad to be reminded, laughter lightens life!
Here is an excerpt from the book; enjoy!
Preparing a meal with a man's help:
Plan the meal. Purchase the food. Set the table. Wash the vegetables. Slice and chop the vegetables and put them in the salad bowl.Peel the potatoes. Boil the potatoes. Slice th potatoes and saute them in butter. Whip butter, milk, and flour into a white sauce. Place potatoes in pan, layered with white sauce and cheese. Sprinkle breadcrumbs and garlic powder on top of the potatoes. Bake the scalloped potatoes. Time the potatoes so as to be ready when the steaks are.
Grill the steaks.
After the meal ask the man to help with the dishes, and he'll be indignant. "What?"
he'll demand. "But I cooked dinner!"
To a man housework is something he helps with, not something he usually does. Furthermore, he usually feels that the most assistance he can provide is in the area of supervision, rather than in an area a woman might find actually helpful, like work. Men see the household as a corporation-they are the CEOs with command authority and executive perks, and women are the executive perks. Men feel most productive when they are standing around watching a woman work and providing observations with the delightful statement, "You know what you should do..."
Woman:(trying to rearrange the refrigerator so the leftovers will be good for something besides compost) This doesn't fit.
Man: You know what you should do...
Woman:(interrupting) No, why don't you show me?
Man: Well, um...
Try this a few times and the man will learn to keep his mouth shut. Also keep in mind that housework doesn't sound very masculine to him. Subtly change your
vocabulary, identifying the tasks you want him to undertake as trash disposal engineering or managing his spouse. Also play to his masculine nature with statements like this:
"Would you mind vacuuming the house? I think the sweeper is about to explode!"
"I'm terrified of the laundry, would you fold it?"
"Could you do the dishes? I think the garbage disposal is really a ravenous creature named Gork from the planet Quork!" (If you use this one, make sure the silverware are put away first.)
Don't worry if these statements make you sound, well, completely deranged. Most men will fall for them anyway. Helping women in distress is what men do; it makes us hold in our stomachs and stand with our capes flapping in the breeze.
(How to Remodel a Man, by W. Bruce Cameron, pgs. 20-21)