...and the harder we lean, the stronger we grow. -J.E. Tada
Do you ever wake up in the morning after a long rest and feel tired? Tired because your worries and concerns about things in your life are weighing you down? Do we add the burdens of others to our already heavy load?
Everyone is born into this world with the gift of agency. No one can take it away even if they try. Even if your life is wrapped in some kind of restricting bondage, physical handicaps, desperate situations, addiction, heartache, loneliness, pain inflicted by others...how you deal with whatever you face is always your personal choice, even if all you can control is your attitude.
Pornography hurts, period.
When those you love choose to become involved with it, the consequences of those choices are far-reaching whether or not they know it. When those you love are caught in its trap, often without realizing how strong the chains have become you must understand you cannot free their bondage. Despite how you see it hurting them, affecting their lives, the very person they are, you have to gather your courage and step back. You have to let go and let God.
You can't monitor their every waking moment, you cannot set up barriers to strong for them to break. You cannot control their choices or actions no matter how hard you try. It is a battle you don't have the power to end. The white flag is in their hands. If you try you will run yourself ragged, bang your head until it is exploding in pain and possibly become consumed with trying to "save" them from themselves.
The peace you can find doesn't have to wait if or until their addiction ends. Doesn't have to wait until the relationship you care so deeply about is restored whole--that might never happen. The peace can come, despite what the outcome is, if you place the burden you are trying to carry at the feet of the only One who has the strength to bear it.
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
There is no peace, greater than that.
That is sooo helpful and so true. I'll admit, last night my husband was not feeling good and he told me at 2:00 am he couldn't sleep, and was going to take some medicine then watch TV or something. I still don't fully trust- we're much better these days- but I still found myself creeping down the stairs as quietly as I could to try to peak and see what he was watching and/or what he was doing. I mean, we don't even have cable, but it seems the trashier of shows are on very late like that. I have done this before when he's watched TV alone at later times. I end up shaking with nervousness and turning icy cold, and thus far, I have never "caught" him doing anything watching TV. I'm exhausted today.....and how fooolish is that? I got hardly any sleep to spy on my husband who did nothing wrong. Letting go....is hard. I don't so much want to control his life, as I feel its controlling mine- I want to control if i'm going to be hurt or lied to- ya know. But as this letter you sent says- I've got to just let go and leave it up to God. My husband is doing much better.....and that should help my trust- yet I am still very untrusting- though understandable in my circumstance, I need to give him some credit as well. Not let my world be over if he did do something wrong, and not loose sleep or loose my mind trying to snoop all the time.
ReplyDeleteI found a quote I liked " Do not pray for easy lives- pray to be a stronger person. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers, pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle."
thanks, I'm so glad I came into touch with you- you have provided me with so many helpful things!