Do you ask?

"Mom," my seven-year-old daughter calls in frustration from her bedroom. “This is too hard, I can’t do it. Can you help me?” She is supposed to be cleaning her room before she can go to a friend’s house to play.

I am in my home office down the hall, typing at the computer, the next sentence forming perfectly in my mind, suddenly it vanishes. What is it now? I sigh in frustration and click save.

I find her sitting on the floor in front of her bed, staring miserably at a pile of disarrayed blankets, and sheets. Her face is red and a few fallen tears are on her cheeks. I look at her dresser with two of her drawers only partially closed, a pair of jeans hanging over the side a sweater squished in the top of another. Her homework is spread out on her small table, the top sheet of math crumpled.

As soon as she sees me, I catch a glimmer of relief in her blue eyes. We start with the bed.

“Hand me the bottom sheet, please. I stretch it out over the mattress fitting the corners in place. “Let’s smooth it out, you can do this part.”

She does.

We do the same with the rest of the bedding. “You can put the pillows and your dolls on.” She nods. I move to her dresser, and open the first drawer that is stuck. I have to give it a good tug before comes out. It has way too many clothes in it. I get some hangers from the closet and hang them up with my daughter; I also show her how to fold the ones left in the drawer so they will fit better. After we are finished, my daughter gives me a big hug.

“Thanks for helping me, Mom. I love you. Now can I play with my friend?”

How often do you ask God to help you?

When you are discouraged do you ask: “Can You help me?”
When you are sad do you ask: “Can You help me?”
When you are lonely do you ask: “Can You help me?”
When you are afraid do you ask: “Can You help me?”
When you are angry do you ask: “Can You help me?”
When you are having a hard time forgiving do you ask: “Can you help me?”

God never sighs in frustration and says, “What is it now.” He waits patiently for us to turn to him, and always knows what to do.

The Fern and the Bamboo

I received this story in an email...

One day I decided to quit.

I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God," I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?" His answer surprised me.

"Look around," He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

"Yes." I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. Six months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

He said to me, "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others. The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern, yet, they both make the forest beautiful. Your time will come," God said to me. "You will rise high!"

"How high should I rise?" I asked.

"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

"As high as it can?" I questioned.

"Yes," He said. "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you Happiness. Bad days give you Experiences. Both are essential to life. Keep going. Happiness keeps you Sweet. Trials keep you Strong. Sorrows keep you Human. Failures keep you Humble. Success keeps You Glowing. But...only God keeps You Going!

Jenny's Pearls

Jenny was a bright-eyed five-year-old girl. One day when she and her mom were checking out at the grocery store, Jenny saw a plastic pearl necklace priced at $5. She loved those pearls. When she asked her mom if she could buy it for her, her mom said "Well, it costs an awful lot of money. I'll tell you what, when we get home we can do a list of chores to help you pay for the necklace. And don't forget next weekend when Grandma is coming to visit she might give you a dollar, too." Jenny agreed.

How she loved her pearl necklace. She wore them everywhere, at kindergarten, to bed, and even when she did an errand with her mom. The only time she didn't wear them was when she took a shower, because her mother told her it would turn her neck green.

Jenny had a loving father. Every night he would read Jenny her favorite story. One night after reading to her he asked, "Jenny, do you love me?"

"Oh yes daddy, you know I love you." Jenny replied.

He said, "well then give me your pearls."

"Oh no, not my pearls," Jenny answered. "But you can have Rosie, my favorite doll. Remember her? You gave her to me for my birthday. You can have Rosie if you want to, daddy." she added.

"That's okay darling," her father replied. He brushed her cheeks with a kiss good night, "Sweet dreams little one."


A few days later after her favorite story, her father asked Jenny again, "Jenny, do you love me?"

"Oh yes daddy, you know I love you."

"Well then give me your pearls."

"No, not my pearls," Jenny answered. "But you can have Robin, my toy horse. Her hair is so soft, and you can play and braid it and everything. You can have Robin if you want her daddy."

"That's okay darling," her father replied. He brushed her cheeks with a kiss good night, "Good night little one, God bless."

A week later, her father went to Jenny's room to read. When he was done he asked her again, "Jenny, do you love me?"

"Yes daddy, I do." Jenny replied. Her lips started to tremble. She held out her hand and there was her beloved pearl necklace. Her father took the necklace in one hand, and with the other slipped out from his pocket a blue velvet box. He handed it to Jenny. She lifted up the lid, and inside the box she saw a real genuine pearl necklace.

It was beautiful.

Her father had had them all along,he was just waiting for Jenny to give up her cheap necklace.

So it is with our Father in Heaven, He wants to bless us with real treasures in life. We need to think what we hold onto in our lives and ponder what God might give us in their place.

Pause Before Reacting

Lysa shared the following story:

A few years ago, Art and I hit a rough place financially. Some investments we'd made went bad and we lost nearly our entire life savings. I was knee deep in 3 small children at the time and hadn't a clue that financial danger was looming on the horizon.

That is until Art came home one day and the look on his face spoke of utter defeat. How could we have lost so much? He'd been wise with our finances. He'd done his research. He was a faithful saver. I stood stunned in our foyer that day, as Art told me the news.

There were many different directions my reaction could have gone in the minutes that followed. I was upset. When Art first talked of making these particular investments, I shared with him that I didn't have a good feeling about it. But, in the end, I let him make the final decision.

So many times in my marriage, I've chosen the wrong words - words that were tainted with bitterness, words that were emotionally toxic. But I'm so thankful the Lord had been working on preparing my heart for this moment and instead of reacting immediately with what would have been a disastrous response, I paused.

I was able to wrap my arms around my husband and speak life-giving words into his weary heart. "I love you Art. I loved you yesterday when we had everything. I love you today when we have nothing. I love you for who you are, not what you have."

A few years later, Art and I were on Dr. Dobson's Focus on the Family radio program. On the show Art was asked, "I know you and Lysa had a rough start to your marriage. But what happened that made you know you'd stick by her forever, no matter what?"

Without hesitation, Art recounted my reaction over the lost investments.

I cried.

I realized how crucial it is to always be aware of God's preparation in our lives. Because He stands in our yesterday, today and tomorrow, He sees all. And He knows the perfect way to prepare our hearts for every situation.

When we embrace His preparations, even a girl with firecrackers in her blood like me can have reactions that honor God and breathe life into relationships.


"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1

Remember...

Christmas is just around the corner, 2008 almost gone. My hopes for 2009 is that I can remember what I've learned, again.

If your house is not as clean as it could be, your husband has a wife, and your children have a mother, who has more time for them.

Unconditional love is much more important than harsh judgement.

Fear of speaking to groups diminishes if you forget yourself and look into the listeners eyes. Then you can connect with their hearts.

Never forget how important it is to laugh, instead of cry.

Being friendly is better than saying nothing.

Everyone gets scared sometimes.

Listening teaches the most.

It's impossible to make time for everything, but you can make time for what is most important.

Trusting completely in God each day is the only way to face whatever comes.

Look a little closer

Life.

It can be difficult.

It can be wondrous.

Today the snow is falling, its whiteness a stark contrast to the red and gold leaves on the tree outside my window. I don't always welcome change, and the darkness of winter, its cold wetness and unpredictable weather can leave me feeling vulnerable and unsettled. Fall is my favorite season, the colors vibrant, the air crisp, the bounty of harvest. To me it always is too fleeting, especially in Alaska, the place of my childhood.

Winter can also be magical. Everything blanketed in a thick coating of sparkling crystals of ice, their brightness almost to vivid to see. Laughing children throwing snowballs bundled snuggly from head to toe, sipping hot chocolate by the fire, feeling cozy and warm surrounded by family and friends. The celebration of the birth of He who loves us all.

If we look close enough, good can be found anywhere.

A traveler nearing a great city asked a woman seated by the
wayside. "What are the people like in the city?"

"A terrible lot," the traveler responded. "Mean, untrustworthy,
detestable in all respects."

"Ah," said the woman, "you will find then the same in the city
ahead."

Scarcely was the first traveler gone when another stopped and
also inquired about the people in the city before him. Again
the old woman asked about the people in the place the traveler
had left.

"They were fine people; honest, industrious, and generous to a
fault. I was sorry to leave," declared the second traveler.

Responded the wise woman:"So you will find them in the city
ahead."
-author unknown-

The weaker we feel the harder we lean on God

...and the harder we lean, the stronger we grow. -J.E. Tada

Do you ever wake up in the morning after a long rest and feel tired? Tired because your worries and concerns about things in your life are weighing you down? Do we add the burdens of others to our already heavy load?

Everyone is born into this world with the gift of agency. No one can take it away even if they try. Even if your life is wrapped in some kind of restricting bondage, physical handicaps, desperate situations, addiction, heartache, loneliness, pain inflicted by others...how you deal with whatever you face is always your personal choice, even if all you can control is your attitude.

Pornography hurts, period.

When those you love choose to become involved with it, the consequences of those choices are far-reaching whether or not they know it. When those you love are caught in its trap, often without realizing how strong the chains have become you must understand you cannot free their bondage. Despite how you see it hurting them, affecting their lives, the very person they are, you have to gather your courage and step back. You have to let go and let God.

You can't monitor their every waking moment, you cannot set up barriers to strong for them to break. You cannot control their choices or actions no matter how hard you try. It is a battle you don't have the power to end. The white flag is in their hands. If you try you will run yourself ragged, bang your head until it is exploding in pain and possibly become consumed with trying to "save" them from themselves.

The peace you can find doesn't have to wait if or until their addiction ends. Doesn't have to wait until the relationship you care so deeply about is restored whole--that might never happen. The peace can come, despite what the outcome is, if you place the burden you are trying to carry at the feet of the only One who has the strength to bear it.


"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

There is no peace, greater than that.